The Constant Terror Of Being Un-Alived As Women.

“I feel the terror I used to feel during my peace and security career days when there would be imminent intelligence about a possible hit by Al- Shaabab”- I say to Wanjiru- and without responding to my utterance, she offers, “My late grandmother, at 100  years old, carried a whistle, and her fear was rape or murder.”
We are waiting for our friends and sisters in the movement to end an interview at Nation TV about the incredible 10,000 women and allies in the Nairobi #endfemicide _ke march held on January  27th, 2024.

Kenya has a pervasive culture of misogyny. We are a people that speak recklessly about women and girls; we uphold a collective culture that devalues women, girls, and LGBTQ individuals; normalises or minimises abuse; claims GBV is accidental; ignores sexism; magnifies aggressive masculinity; and uses men's achievements to exonerate and minimise the impact of their behaviour. We hear it on the radio; we say it from the pulpit on Sunday and khutbah on Friday; it’s what we are likely to hear during ruracios and we have elevated the spewers of this- as truth sayers- thought leaders.

The Africa Data Hub reveals that stabbing and hacking emerge as the predominant methods in intimate partner murders, while strangulation also stands out as the primary cause of death in stranger killings—often following incidents of sexual violence- These are acts of terror and murder.

So as a member of the #endfemicide _ke movement, do I think femicide in Kenya will end or at least decrease?  - honestly, I don’t know- because the only tool I have in my pocket is feminism- a political view I believe in yet struggle with—a concept that is shunned upon and ridiculed by African thought leaders as a western concept-  one that is often seen as incompatible with our faiths—a political view that is often reduced to rage and anger.

But here is why I offer that you consider feminism. 

It allows us to stop normalising domestic violence and see it for what it is - domestic violence is the misuse and abuse of power and control by the perpetrators, who are more often than not men, particularly in patriarchal societies where men have more power and control in families and the broader society.

It guides us to understand intersectionality and multiple discrimination- helping us see how gender inequality and other forms of inequality such as class, age, disability, and gender diversity intersect to shape women’s experiences of violence.  

Just to put this in context, here are a few  facts. 

Women and girls  with disabilities report experiencing intimate partner violence earlier than women without, and also experience violence from a wider range of perpetrators.
Older women are more likely to experience violence from a wider range of perpetrators, including partners, adult children, other family members, neighbours, and caregivers. 

Younger women under the age of 35 are the age group most likely to have experienced recent violence from an intimate partner. 

Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer, and asexual (LGBTIQA+) women experience high rates of sexual violence, domestic and family violence, and sexual harassment. 

Feminism allows us to see through fascistic / Christian nationalism rhetoric and see how the build-up on this makes the church- Christians, and generally people of faith complicit in murders of women who don’t fall under monogamy or the morality rules- such as our sex workers sisters and siblings. 

Additionally, it necessitates that we look at judicial attitudes, taking a gender perspective on the rights themselves, and assessing access and obstacles to the enjoyment of these rights by women and men towards adopting gender-sensitive strategies for protecting and promoting them. 

And finally, for now, feminism fuels our rage when mainstream and vernacular media outlets make use of harmful metaphors and stereotypes when reporting on cases of gender-based violence, because this contributes to the normalisation of violence and perpetuation of discriminatory gender norms and stereotypes.

Listen, I am either low-key telling you that you are feminist more than you allow yourself to admit, or I am telling you that we all have parts to play towards #endfemicide _ke  but what I am also telling you is- women, including the Pentecostal Mummies and Legislators- the ones that have continued to recklessly say things to blame the victims—myself and Wanjiru’s  later grandmother at 100 live with the constant terror of being un-alived and this must end.